Riddles of Uncertainty

When the world turns away,
I look for shelter
And in her heart I went,
and gave sweet surrender

I jumped from places to places,
and found no satisfaction
Then that spark ignited,
when I saw her reflection

Like a fool, I wondered,
If this real or imagination
My mind is distorted,
and wish for her attention

I showed a record of failures,
and scarred me forever
But it soon faded away,
when I heard her pleasing laughter

I would die to see her face,
and regret it a little later,
I'm ashamed of myself,
and attract a lot of haters

Her small voice is a herald,
to my heart it brings good news,
She tells insights and fables,
and her own world views

Her presence just struck me,
and her smile tops it all
I hope she loves more,
'cause I'm willing to fall

But what am I expecting?
I've done no action
Like before, I tremble in fear,
when I hear some reaction

The past seems to be haunting,
and my life is innovating
I see her as my inspiration,
but can I stand another suffering?

I've planned before and failed to execute,
it was a damn waste of precious time
But if she could make me complete,
I would give it one last try

For the sake my sanity,
I will move and go ahead
What do I got to lose,
when my heart beats my head?

Oh, how unfortunate,
this life is very unfair
It gave me a hard puzzle,
and some burden to bare

When will the tide turn,
and gives me the good side?
When will I keep making riddles of uncertainty,
and run away from outcomes and hide?